


It's Not That Easy

by forkflinger



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 02:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forkflinger/pseuds/forkflinger
Summary: Axel's got his best friends back - all his best friends - and he's happier than he's been in a long time.It's going to take Roxas and Xion a little longer to adjust. When you've only ever known a person as an enemy, it can be hard to think of them as something else.





	It's Not That Easy

There was very little doubt that Axel, Xion, and Roxas would wind up in Twilight Town. Axel may have originally been from Radiant Garden, but it hadn’t been home for many years, and Twilight Town was the closest thing Roxas had ever had to one. Xion just wanted them all to be together. (If she could be a little picky, on a world that had mastered indoor plumbing.)

They’d gotten rooms on the second story of a squat building just off the tram commons, on a street far enough to be quiet but near enough to be only a few minutes’ walk away. The apartment had a small kitchen that they rarely used, a spacious living room full of overstuffed and scavenged furniture, and three bedrooms. This last part was perhaps excessive; more often than not, they wound up all asleep in the same place. Xion was plagued by nightmares, and Axel had developed a worrisome tendency to wake in the middle of the night in a panic if they weren’t nearby. Some nights, Roxas couldn’t close his eyes from fear he wouldn’t wake up again, so Axel and Xion sat up with him until they all passed out. The living room couch was well stocked with blankets and pillows.

Rent wasn’t a problem, and wouldn’t be for a long time. Axel had spent years accumulating munny without spending it on anything more expensive than ice cream, and was surprised to realize how big his stash had become. On top of that, King Mickey had offered a generous sum to help them settle in, considering they were essentially homeless. 

Days were spent hanging with the kids in town, or on little excursions to other worlds. Neverland was a favorite, and Xion had discovered a world covered in snow and ice that she adored. Axel felt pretty strongly about that one, but he could never say no. And of course, trips to the beach, maybe more than they even wanted to take, just because they could. Even if the weather was bad or they got sand in their underwear or the time Axel got stung by a jellyfish, it was a reminder that they were free. Then, sunsets on the clock tower, and then back home to watch tv or play video games and waste away the time until they fell asleep. 

It had been a while - a few weeks, maybe a month or two, Roxas would probably know - when Axel’s gummiphone rang. They were at a table outside the little bistro in the tram common, having breakfast that was late enough to count as lunch. Axel was considering the implications of introducing Roxas and Xion to the concept of “brunch,” and decided it was too risky. They still had so much to learn about the world; combining breakfast and lunch might blow their little minds. Xion worked her way through a plate of whipped cream with some French toast hidden underneath, and Roxas evaluated the most efficient way to cut up his waffle, and Axel pulled the beeping phone from his pocket.

Ienzo appeared on the little screen, wearing an expression Axel’d become quite familiar with. It was the same face he’d worn around Lea for a long time. It was a complicated expression, but Axel had figured it out. The face said, “I’m extremely distressed and unhappy about this person’s presence, but I’m trying very hard not to show it. But not too hard, because they obviously know I’m not fond of them, and I don’t want them to think I am.” It was a very busy face. Axel had been relieved when, after enough time and an embarrassingly honest apology, it stopped being aimed at him. Seeing it again now made him wince.

“Hey,” he said, grinning anyway. Or trying to. His eyebrows didn’t always stick to the script. “What’s up?”

Ienzo’s not-a-frown almost deepened into an actual frown. “There’s someone here who would like to speak with you,” he announced. Without waiting for an answer, the image on the screen blurred, wiping away Ienzo and replacing him with another familiar face.

“Lea.”

Across the table, Roxas and Xion both froze at the sound of the voice from the phone. Axel fumbled not to drop it as he bolted upright, leaning in close. “Isa! You made it!”

Isa smiled, the first genuine smile Axel’d seen out of him in years. “Was there ever any doubt?” he said.

“It took you long enough,” Axel said, relaxing back down into his seat. “What, did you go on vacation first?”

“I only awoke this morning,” Isa replied. There was a light in his eyes that Axel hadn’t realized he’d missed. “Here, in Radiant Garden. Ienzo was kind enough to let me use his phone. You’re in Twilight Town?”

“Yeah. All the best food is here. Oh!” He sat up again. “And Roxas and Xion are here too!” He glanced up and realized that neither of them had moved since Isa first spoke.

Isa lifted an eyebrow. “Of course they are.”

“Yeah, uh.” He blinked, then turned back to the phone. “We can get Riku to give you a ride. He’s been running the gummi ship.”

Isa’s face grew stern. “You assume I want to come see you.” For half a heartbeat, something in Axel’s chest seized up; then Isa smirked and it all loosened up again.

“Of course you do,” he said, as casually as he could. “Everyone wants to see me.”

“Indeed. Well, if it wouldn’t be too much bother for Riku…”

“Nah, he’ll be happy to do it. Keeps him busy.” Axel smiled into the phone. “See you soon, Isa.”

On the other end, Isa smiled back. “See you soon. Lea.”

The screen went blank, and Axel suppressed a giddy little cheer. “Isa’s back!” he announced, as if Roxas and Xion hadn’t heard the whole conversation. “Just woke up!”

There was a long pause. Then Xion slowly set her fork down on the edge of her plate. “That’s great,” she said with about as much enthusiasm as if he’d just told her it was time for a dental cleaning.

Roxas nodded, picking at the edge of his omelette. “Y-yeah. That’s, uh. That’s great.”

Axel could be dense, sure, but he wasn’t _that_ dense. “What’s the matter?” he asked, leaning forward.

“Nothing,” Xion quickly answered, shaking her head. “It’s great. That Sa- Isa’s back.”

“And he’s… coming here. Today.” Roxas and Xion shared a look.

Axel frowned. “You don’t want him here?”

“No, it’s not - no,” Xion protested. “That’s not it.”

“Then what? He’s not Saïx anymore, guys.”

“We know,” said Roxas. “He’s just… it’s just…”

“Saïx was… bad,” Xion finally finished.

Axel shrugged. “Okay. Sure, he wasn’t the nicest guy - “

“He tried to make us kill each other,” Roxas interrupted.

“Twice,” added Xion.

“Nobody’s perfect,” Axel persisted. “But he’s not Saïx. He’s _Isa_. You guys never even met Isa.”

“We knew Saïx well enough,” Roxas grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Trust me. He’ll be totally different.”

“Yeah, of course,” said Xion, placing a hand on Roxas’s shoulder. “Of course he will. It’s great. Right, Roxas?”

Roxas sighed. “Yeah.”

Axel reached across the table and ruffled Roxas’s hair, drawing a squawk of protest and a swat on the arm. “You’ll love him. You’ll see.”

Xion and Roxas turned their attention back to the food in front of them. Axel was already pulling up Riku on the phone, so he missed the way Roxas gripped his knife, and the shrinking of Xion’s shoulders.

 

The weird mood from breakfast had dissipated by late afternoon, when they hiked out into the woods to meet the Gummi Ship. The clearing in front of the old mansion was far enough from town to avoid drawing attention, but close enough to be a convenient landing spot. Roxas and Xion explored the forest while they waited; Axel just took up a position leaning against the stone wall and fiddled with a game on his phone. It would have been stupid to be nervous, so obviously he wasn’t. He was just, uh, thinking about logistics. Yeah.

He super casually stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans when the colorful ship came into view overhead, and only squinted slightly into the downdraft that flattened the grass and ruffled his hair. And he definitely stayed cool when the door to the ship opened and Riku poked his head out. 

He really couldn’t contain his smile when Isa followed.

He _could_ force himself to push off from the wall slowly, and step forward with a practiced saunter. “Well look who it is,” he said. 

Isa’s smile was much more reserved as he stepped out onto the grass. “Good to see you, Lea,” he said. Then he turned back towards the ship. “Thanks for the ride.”

Riku waved. “Anytime. Lea’s got my number, so just call.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Riku nodded and hopped back into the ship. They watched as it took off.

“It was a lot more convenient when we could just walk from world to world,” Axel remarked, watching the ship fade to a dot in the distance, “but apparently it’s not safe. The main danger in the gummi is small talk with Riku.”

“Not the most awkward conversation I’ve had today,” Isa replied. When the ship was gone from sight, they turned back to face each other.

Axel hesitated. Should they hug? Was this a hugging moment? Definitely not a handshake, they were well past that, but they were just standing there. He had to do something. After half a second of deliberation, Axel went for throwing one arm around Isa’s shoulders in a sort of half-hug, half-pat-on-the-back motion. “Welcome back to the world of the living,” he said. “How’s it feel?”

Isa shook his head and shrugged him off, and the movement felt so familiar it stung. “So far? Exhausting. I woke up in a boarded-off lab and spent most of my day avoiding people.” He sighed. “I suppose I’m lucky Aeleus didn’t kill me on sight.”

“Aw, he’s just grumpy. He’ll come around.” Axel paused, thinking about the last time he’d personally crossed paths with Aeleus. “Maybe.”

“I can’t really blame them,” Isa said. “I didn’t make a lot of friends over the past few years.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve got one here.” Lea punched him on the arm. “And hey, speaking of friends.”

Lea had just spotted Roxas and Xion, hovering at the edge of the clearing, watching. For a brief moment, their faces wore the same expression, like guard dogs spotting an intruder. But it was just a moment. Xion stepped forward with a smile that was almost convincing and said, “Hi, Isa.”

Isa nodded. “Hello, Xion.”

She stiffened visibly when he said her name, and it occurred to Axel that Saïx rarely called her by her name. Saïx called her a puppet, and a thing, and an it. But this wasn’t Saïx, this was Isa, and he was using her name. 

Roxas stepped up next to Xion as she took a deep breath. He stood just barely in front of her, not blocking her or defending her - but something close to that. “Isa,” he said, his voice level.

“Roxas,” Isa responded, just as calmly. He added, “You’re looking well.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Xion’s smile may have frozen on her face, but it was still friendlier than whatever Roxas was going for.

A few tense moments passed before Lea cleared his throat and slapped Isa on the back. “So!” he said, a little more forcefully than necessary, “where to now, huh? What was the first thing you wanted to do when you were somebody again?”

Isa sighed. “Truthfully, I’m mostly just tired.” 

“Well then, let’s just go back to our place and relax.” He grinned at Xion and Roxas. Xion returned the smile, weakly; Roxas looked away. “We’ll pick up something for dinner and just hang out,” he continued undeterred. “Get reacquainted, yeah?”

“One of your better plans,” Isa said.

“Oh, I’m full of them.” Lea draped his arm around Isa’s shoulders again and guided him toward the path through the forest. He glanced back to make sure Xion and Roxas were following - and they were, but at a distance. He tried not to frown. This was going worse than he’d expected. But they just needed to get used to it.

 

Twilight Town had an array of little restaurants scattered around the commons, and Axel had gotten to know most of them pretty well since arriving. Food just tasted better as a Somebody, for some reason. Since Roxas and Xion were hanging back and being quiet, Axel took the initiative and led them to a favorite spot, a little store tucked away in a corner that smelled like The Land Of Dragons. He ordered a frankly unreasonable amount of food for four people, including a eye-wateringly spicy noodle dish that he could never remember the name of, but he’d already been here often enough that they started making it when he opened the door.

By the time they arrived at their apartment, Roxas and Xion had started to chill. Axel had largely left them to their own devices; if they needed a little space, he’d give them space. Sure, maybe he was hoping they’d be a little more comfortable, but no one had drawn a weapon yet so, could be worse.

Axel pushed through the door first, swinging it wide open. “Welcome,” he announced, “to The Hot Pad.”

“It’s not called that,” Roxas said, stepping past him and grabbing one of the bags of food out of Axel’s hand. 

“That’s the worst one yet,” Xion added, ducking under Axel’s arm to take the other one.

Axel shrugged. “It’s a work in progress.”

Isa had stopped just inside the door, surveying the scene. He arched an eyebrow. “You live like this?”

Axel looked around. Alright, so they weren’t the neatest people. Roxas and Xion had to move some dirty dishes and old take-out containers off the table to make room for the new ones, sure, and maybe there were a few more empty cans and ice cream wrappers in the living room than there should’ve been, but it wasn’t that bad. And maybe they’d only been there a few weeks and a layer of dust had already accumulated on some of the higher surfaces. And maybe there were two stuffed trash bags leaning up against the wall by the door waiting to be taken out. And maybe - whatever. Isa’s just picky. “I don’t have to listen to you anymore, y’know,” Axel declared.

“Good,” Isa replied, delicately stepping over a pile of cardboard. “It means I’m not responsible for this.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Xion fetched a stack of plates out of one of the cabinets as Roxas started unpacking the food, laying out the various containers on the kitchen table. He cracked open one of the lids and sniffed at the contents. “What’s this?”

Axel peered over his shoulder. “It’s, uh, kind of an egg thing with gravy?”

“That sounds disgusting,” said Xion, reaching out with a fork. “Let me try it.”

Isa took a seat at the table next to Axel as Roxas and Xion jostled for their favorite dishes. When their plates were piled high with meat and noodles and maybe one little piece of broccoli, they sat across the table from Axel and Isa and dug in. Axel smiled; a little bit of dinner, and they were loosening right up. Hey, maybe this would work out. He reached across the table to grab that noodle dish and started piling some onto his own plate. “You want some of this, Isa?” he asked, offering the box. “It’s spicy.”

“Might as well,” Isa answered. “Just a little.”

Xion looked up, speaking through a mouthful of food. “Axel, you gotta try this egg thing,” she said. “It’s so good.”

“Well, pass it over, then!”

Isa was mostly quiet through dinner, only offering an occasional commentary on the food or a response to a direct question. Roxas and Xion, though, were returning to their chatty selves, and filled in the silence perfectly well. It still amazed Axel that they got to have moments like this - no fear, no worries, no looming disaster or dread. Just friends, hanging out. He’d had glimpses of it during those sunsets on the clock tower, but there was always something in the back of his mind reminding him that it wasn’t real, and it couldn’t last. And now, even something as simple as eating dinner together made him happier than he’d thought he’d ever be.

Axel glanced toward Isa, just to check in. Isa wasn’t talking much, but he seemed to be listening. He looked relaxed. There might even had been something like a smile on his face, although it had been so long since Axel’d seen that that he must’ve been mistaken.

Once they’d finished their third helpings, Roxas and Xion sat back, mirror images of contentment. “So good,” murmured Roxas, and Xion sighed in agreement.

Axel, having not overstuffed himself for once, started to put the lids back on the boxes of food and transport the leftovers to the fridge. “Are either of you going to be able to move?”

“Just roll us over to the couch,” answered Xion.

Axel snorted. “Roll yourselves.”

Xion giggled and slid out of her chair. Roxas followed suit, but Axel couldn’t help but notice a suspicious backwards glance at Isa as he passed.

Isa, for his part, either didn’t spot it or gracefully ignored it. Instead, he carried some of the plates from the table over to the pile already formed by the kitchen sink. “If I don’t wash these dishes,” he said, eyeing the pile, “will anyone?”

“Sure, of course.” Axel grinned. “Eventually.”

Isa shook his head and turned on the faucet. “This won’t become a habit, I can promise you that.”

A minute passed as he rinsed the plates before he spoke again. “I’m glad to see that you’re doing well,” he said. “You, and Roxas and Xion.”

“Yeah.” Axel leaned against the cabinets next to Isa. “Gotta say, it’s been pretty great. Just hanging out with friends, y’know? It’s been a long time.”

“Far too long,” agreed Isa. He had finished the plates from dinner and started in on the stack from previous meals, which proved trickier to scrape clean. Axel generously helped by handing him dirty dishes from just outside his reach.

“I notice,” said Isa, scrubbing a bowl, “that they still call you Axel.” Axel froze, hands clamped around a glass; Isa continued without noticing. “Are you going by that name? Should I call you that?”

“No.” It came out more forcefully than he’d intended. Isa looked at him, concerned, but Axel stared at the ground. His skin felt cold; hearing that name out of Isa’s mouth had just felt so wrong. “Don’t call me that. You don’t - “ Axel shook his head, clearing away memories of black coats and violence. “Isa doesn’t call me that,” he said more lightly, finally looking up and meeting Isa’s gaze with a smile.

Isa nodded. “Of course. Lea.”

Axel set down the glass he’d been clutching before he broke it and took a deep breath. “Still working through some things,” he offered by way of explanation.

“You’re certainly not the only one.” Isa placed a hand on Axel’s shoulder. “And it’ll be a long time before we’re done.”

Axel laid his hand over Isa’s for the space of another few breaths. Then he squeezed it, just for a second, before pushing off from the cabinets. “C’mon, dishes are lame,” he said. “I’ll get them later.”

“I don’t believe you,” Isa said, but he followed Axel out of the kitchen anyway. Roxas and Xion had taken up positions lounging on the couch, draping themselves end to end in mirrored poses of food coma. Axel plopped into a ratty green armchair; Isa lifted a pile of papers off the seat of a leather chair and sat in their place. Axel took in the sight of his best friends, all happy and healthy and, most importantly, not trying to kill each other. Small victories.

“So, got any plans?” he asked Isa. “Places to go, people to see, all that?”

“None.” Isa shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Never really expected to be here. The furthest I’ve planned out is finding a hotel or something for the night.” He paused. “This world does have hotels, yes?”

“Sure, there’s one nearby,” Axel answered. “But you don’t have to do that. You could crash here!”

“No!” Xion bolted upright.

Axel stared at her. “What’s gotten into you?”

They were all looking at Xion now, even Roxas, jolted awake by the commotion. Xion blushed, but her face stayed stormy. “He can’t stay here,” she repeated. “I don’t want him to stay here.”

“Xion, c’mon.” Axel motioned towards Isa, who had the same quiet, serious face he’d worn for so many years before today. “It’s just Isa. He’s not going to do anything.”

Xion clenched her jaw. “I don’t - I don’t want him here.” Before anyone could respond, she sprang up from the couch and ran.

“Xion!” Axel shouted, but he was answered by the slamming of a door. He sighed and scratched his head. “What was all that about?”

Roxas jumped off the couch. “I’ll go check on her,” he said, eyeing Isa warily as he passed.

Isa and Axel watched him disappear. “I don’t think they like me very much,” said Isa.

Axel turned back to Isa. “No, they’re just, uh. Getting used to it.” He shook his head. “Sorry about that.”

“No, don’t be. I can’t really blame them.” Isa smiled, but his eyes were cold. “I wasn’t exactly nice to them.”

“They’re - that’s - that was Saix,” Axel insisted. “You’re Isa. You’re different. They know that.”

“Yes, well.” Isa shrugged. “Still working through some things, I suppose.”

Axel started to speak, but wound up with nothing to say. “I’d better go check on them,” he said at last. Isa nodded.

The door to Xion’s room was closed. Axel rapped his knuckles against it. “Can I come in?” he called through the door.

After a moment, Roxas’s voice answered. “Yeah.”

Axel opened the door and stepped through, carefully closing it behind him. Xion was sitting on her bed, her knees pulled to her chest and her face buried in her arms. Roxas sat next to her, his hand resting on one of hers.

“Hey,” said Axel, standing by the door. “So, uh. What’s up?”

Xion didn’t answer until Roxas shook her a little. “Sorry,” she muttered.

Axel stepped closer. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Xion didn’t answer, even when Roxas shook her again. 

“It’s Isa,” Roxas supplied.

“Yeah, I figured that much out.” Axel took another step. “C’mon, talk to me, Xion. Are you scared?”

“He doesn’t scare me,” Xion said, muffled by her own arms.

“So, what?”

Roxas glared up at Axel. “After everything he did,” he said, “he’s just sitting there like nothing happened.”

Axel glared back. “He’s different,” he said. “That was Saïx. This is Isa. He’s not the same person - “

“I know that!” Roxas shouted. He clenched a fist and stared down. “I know that, and it doesn’t help.”

“Axel,” said Xion, the slightest tremble in her voice. “You told us about how Sora and Kairi reminded you of us. And it was hard for you, and it hurt.” She looked up, and Axel was shocked at how cold her stare was. “Can’t you imagine how much worse it is when it’s someone you hate?”

“But he’s not that person!” Axel was trying not to shout, but his voice was louder than intended. “Isa’s not Saïx. You guys know that. He’s my friend!”

“We’re supposed to be your friends!” Roxas shouted back. “Doesn’t that matter?”

“Of course it does!” Axel could feel himself getting angrier, creeping closer to the edge of saying something he’d regret. And yet, he didn’t stop himself. “So what, I’m not allowed to have more friends? Just you two, and that’s it?”

“You know it’s not,” said Xion, digging her fingers into the bed. “You’re not listening to us.”

“Oh, no, I hear you loud and clear. I get the message. You can’t spend one night hanging out with Isa, not even for my sake, because you’re nursing a grudge against a dead man.”

“He’s not dead! He’s sitting in our living room!”

Axel burst. “That’s not Saïx!” he screamed, gesturing widely. “That’s my best friend Isa, and I’m not letting a couple of petty brats insult him!”

Roxas tried to jump off the bed, but was brought crashing back down by Xion’s grip on his bicep. “We’re your best friends,” she said, her voice icy.

Seeing Xion of all people this pissed off almost snapped Axel out of it - but after all this time, he still hadn’t learned when to keep his mouth shut. “I thought so too,” he said through clenched teeth. “But my friends would be happy for me. So what does that make you?”

He regretted the words the moment he said them, as pain registered in both pairs of deep blue eyes staring at him. He did himself the smallest of favors by yanking open the door, stepping into the hallway, and slamming it shut behind him. Then he stood there for several moments, hand on the knob, trying to calm his breathing.

He should go back in. He should apologize. That wasn’t fair, and he knew it. He could fix this, they’d forgive him, he should open the door and go back in and all it would take was for him to say he was sorry - 

Isa was waiting by the door when Axel emerged into the living room. “I thought it would be rude to leave without saying good night,” he said. 

“I’ll walk with you,” Axel answered, yanking his jacket off a hook by the door and shoving his arms through the sleeves. “The hotel’s not far. C’mon.” He managed not to slam the front door too.

The sun had gone down, leaving the air crisp and cool. Stars were visible twinkling overhead, and the streets of Twilight Town were warmly lit with lanterns and the glow of lit windows. Axel appreciated none of it as he stomped alongside Isa, his hands shoved in his pockets and his gaze firmly affixed to the ground.

They’d gone several blocks before Isa spoke. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t intend to cause a problem.”

“Not your fault,” Axel answered, not looking up. “You didn’t do anything.”

“On the contrary, I did quite a bit. To a lot of people, and to Roxas and Xion in particular.” He sighed. “I can’t blame them for not trusting me.”

Axel jerked his head up. “But that wasn’t you!” he declared, pulling his hands out of his pockets so he could gesticulate freely. “You’re not the same person who did those things. You’re Isa.” He took a few more steps, then stopped and turned when he realized Isa had fallen behind.

Isa was looking skyward, examining the stars. “I used to tell myself that,” he said, almost as if he was talking to himself. “Whenever something horrible had to be done, some atrocity committed for our goals, I would tell myself - this is Saïx’s doing. Someday Saïx and Axel would be gone, and Isa and Lea would return. And their hands would be clean.”

Axel took a step closer. “Isa…”

“It wasn’t true,” Isa said, dropping his gaze back to Axel. “Saïx is not gone. Isa stands before you, but he carries the weight of Saïx’s crimes. My crimes. I don’t get to pretend otherwise.” He shook his head. “I hurt many people, Roxas and Xion perhaps worst of all. I can’t claim I’m not responsible for that.”

“But that wasn’t you!” Axel insisted. “You were a different person, you were - “

“I was myself,” Isa interrupted. “I have never been anyone else. And no one else can be held accountable for my choices.”

Axel shook his head, searching for more words of denial. “We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. But we’re better now. We’re different people.”

Isa smiled sadly. “If you are not Axel,” and the name still felt wrong, “then where is Roxas and Xion’s friend?”

Axel rubbed the back of his head. “That’s - that’s different.”

Isa lifted an eyebrow. “Axel loved them. Axel took care of them, Axel fought for them. They never met Lea. When they reappeared, were you a stranger?”

“No, of course not. I - “

“You are still Axel to them,” Isa continued. “Why shouldn’t I still be Saïx?”

Axel frowned and looked away. Isa was making a lot of sense, and he wished he wasn’t. “It’s different,” he muttered, not at all sure that it was.

“No,” Isa confirmed, and started walking. Axel had to rush to catch up. “They hate me for what I’ve done, and I don’t deserve any less.” He took a deep breath. “I have spent most of the day,” he said in a low voice, “tallying my regrets. All the foul deeds I committed, or ordered, or even just stood aside and let happen. I cannot say they belong to someone else. This guilt is mine.” He raised one hand to his chest, as if his heart pained him. “And I would have it no other way. It is how I know I am human.”

Axel had no response to that. They walked in silence for a few minutes, footsteps echoing off the cobblestones. They had almost reached the hotel he gathered his thoughts enough to speak.

“You’re a real wet blanket sometimes, you know that?”

Isa laughed. It was the first time Axel had heard him laugh since the day so long ago when it all went wrong, a fact that had not occurred to him until this moment. Isa seemed to be having a similar thought and paused, almost shocked - and started laughing again. It sounded like shattering ice. Axel couldn’t stop himself, but he didn’t really want to; he started laughing too. They stood there, laughing at nothing like a couple of idiots for way too long. 

Isa caught his breath first, slowing down into a deep sigh and a gentle smile. Axel felt his chest swelling with a kind of happiness he’d gone without for too long, hadn’t even known he’d been missing. They walked the last few minutes to the hotel still riding aftershocks of laughter until finally arriving in front of brightly lit glass doors.

“Here we are,” said Axel needlessly, sweeping his arm up to present the building. A thought occurred to him. “Oh, hey, do you need munny? I can give you some if you - “

“No need,” interrupted Isa. He pulled a small leather pouch from some inner pocket of his jacket. “I received a rather generous sum as a ‘resettlement’ package.” He weighed the pouch in his hand. “I think Ienzo just wanted to be sure I wouldn’t be coming back.”

“Ah, he’ll come around.” Axel grinned, teeth gleaming. “Heck, he’s fine with me now, and I murdered him!”

Isa chuckled. “Well, I probably have a small advantage over you, then.” He shook his head and tucked the pouch away. “You’d better be getting home,” he said.

Axel winced, flashing back to storming out. “Yeah, I guess so.” He scratched the back of his neck, then snapped back to attention. “Hey, but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” he asked, both a question and a declaration. 

Isa looked up at him and nodded. “I won’t go far.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll find you. I’ll just ask around for a blue-haired killjoy.”

Isa snorted, and this was a hugging moment for sure. Axel leaned forward, wrapped his arms around Isa, and squeezed. He felt Isa pull him in as well, and they held each other for a good while longer than necessary. Axel patted Isa on the back as they pulled apart.

“And, hey, uh.” He cleared his throat. “About Roxas and Xion…”

“I would gladly spend time with them,” said Isa, waving his hand through the air, “when they are ready. Until then, well, there’s a lot to explore and I can’t have you following me everywhere.”

“You wish. G’night, Isa.”

“Good night, Lea.” Isa nodded and walked into the hotel. Axel watched through the window as Isa spoke to the woman standing behind the front desk. When Isa spotted him still standing there, he quirked an eyebrow and waved him away. Axel smiled and walked away.

 

When he opened the door to the apartment, Roxas and Xion were already jumping off the couch. “Axel!” cried Roxas, taking a step, but he stopped himself. His worry was painted on his face, and Xion was no better. They both watched him with watery eyes as he closed the door behind him and shrugged off his coat.

“Hey, guys,” he said, and that was enough to trigger them to rush toward him. He dropped to his knees just in time to catch them in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” said Roxas, burying his face in Axel’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten mad, I shouldn’t have - “

“Hey, hey,” said Axel, rubbing the back of Roxas’s head. “Quit that. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I screwed this up big time.” He sighed and pulled them closer. Seeing Kairi at the right angle had brought him to tears, and he’d struggled to look Sora in the eye sometimes. And that was just a resemblance. Roxas and Xion had spent the evening sitting across from a man who looked and sounded exactly like one of their worst enemies. Of course they’d be upset. “I’m sorry, guys,” he said, aware of how weak it sounded. “I should’ve… I didn’t mean to upset you. But he - “ Axel let out a breath. “He was my best friend,” he said.

Roxas pulled back from the hug, far enough to see Axel’s face. “Axel…”

Xion stepped back as well, tugging on Axel’s hand. He allowed himself to be guided to the couch, where Xion sat on one end and Roxas on the other. After a moment Axel accepted the unsaid invitation and sat between them, staring down at his own feet.

“He was my best friend,” he repeated, “and I lost him so slowly I didn’t even realize it was happening. He changed, or I changed, or we both did. I was so mad at him for so long, but when I was done being mad…” His voice cracked as tears welled up in his eyes. “I missed him. And now he’s back, and I just… I wanted you all to be friends.”

Xion leaned against Axel’s shoulder. “He was never our friend,” she mumbled.

Axel nodded. “I know. He was rough on you guys.”

Roxas, his arms crossed across his chest, snorted. 

“Alright,” said Axel, lifting his head, “he was a huge asshole. Better?”

Roxas didn’t move. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” said Xion, and there were tears in her voice. “I should’ve been better. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She wasn’t looking at Axel or Roxas, but staring at a point on the floor in front of her. “I can do better. I won’t say anything about it.”

Roxas and Axel both spoke at the same time. 

“Xion, that’s not - “

“You don’t have to - “

They stopped and glanced at each other. “You don’t have to do that,” said Roxas. “You don’t have to act like you’re okay when you’re not. You’re allowed to be upset.”

“But I ruined it,” Xion mumbled, sinking into the couch. “I messed everything up.”

“That’s not true,” said Axel. He leaned over and wrapped her in a hug. “You didn’t ruin anything. You didn’t do anything wrong. I did.”

“Look, it’s okay that Axel’s happy,” Roxas added. “But it’s okay for you to not be happy. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re allowed.”

Xion pressed into the hug. She took deep breaths, smoothing out the jagged edge of threatening sobs. “Okay,” she said, muffled by Axel’s chest. “Okay.”

Axel wasn’t sure he believed her, but there wasn’t much more he could do about it. He let his chin rest on top of her head as he held her there. Eventually he felt Roxas’s weight at his back and his hand reached around to rest on Xion’s knee.

Axel didn’t release his grip until he felt Xion shifting, sitting upright and wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. “Sorry,” she mumbled again. Axel decided it wasn’t worth telling her not to be.

On his other side, Roxas sighed. “Okay. Listen. Maybe Sa - Isa’s okay now. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy anymore.” He looked up at Axel. “But could we - take it slow, maybe? Like, not inviting him to sleep ten feet away from us. Or maybe not in our home at all,” he added in a mutter.

Something tight in Axel’s chest came loose. “Yeah,” he said, “we can do that. Public spaces only. Easy. Got it. What else?”

“Start with that,” answered Roxas. “We’ll add more if we need to.”

“Okay.” Axel looked back at Xion and squeezed her shoulder. “Sound good to you?”

Xion nodded without looking up. “Fine.”

“Hey.” Axel waited until she looked up at him. “Do you mean that?”

Xion blinked several times before nodding again. “Yeah,” she answered. “That sounds - I can do that.”

Axel smiled and pulled her close again. “You guys really are my best friends, you know that?” he said, reaching his other arm around Roxas’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“Ugh, cheesy,” said Roxas, ducking under Axel’s arm. Xion giggled.

“Fine, enough mushy stuff,” said Axel, who currently felt so full of mushy stuff he thought they could squeeze him and rice pudding would come out. “Let’s just watch a movie or something, yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Roxas, grabbing the remote. “But you don’t get to pick.”

Axel sighed dramatically. “Such cruel punishment.”

Isa had woken early and taken the opportunity to explore a bit. He’d stopped in at a few shops to pick up necessities - he would need more than one pair of pants sooner rather than later - and now was resting outside a quaint little cafe, sipping a warm cup of coffee sweetened with sugar and milk. How long had it been since he’d last done something so simple as to sit outside and drink coffee? He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. The sunlight felt warm on his skin.

“Isa!”

It took him half a second to register that someone was calling him. He opened his eyes and smiled as he spotted Lea, waving at him like he wasn’t visible a mile away. Then Isa saw the two smaller figures behind him, and his smile widened imperceptibly.

“Good morning,” he said as the trio approached his table. He glanced at the clock tower, visible through most of the town, and added, “Just barely.”

“Still counts,” Lea replied. “So, any plans for the day?”

“Nothing in particular,” Isa said. “I’ve done some shopping already.”

“Well aren’t we industrious?” Lea grinned and stepped aside slightly, revealing Roxas and Xion. “Roxas was thinking you might want a tour of the town,” he said.

Roxas’s fake smile was much better than yesterday’s. “You’ve been here before, right? But there’s a lot of cool stuff you probably don’t know about. We could show you around.”

Xion nodded and added, “It’s a fun place!”

Isa took a moment to regard the pair. He’d come to the conclusion that they were, essentially, to be treated like wild animals. If not treated carefully, they could get spooked and run away - or lash out. Best to hold back and let them approach. And here they were, smiling at him with only the faintest strain behind their eyes. He took a last sip of his drink and set it down. “Where to first?”

Lea stretched his hands over his head. “How about we start with some breakfast?”

The clock tower started to chime. Isa waited, counting the rings. After the twelfth, he raised an eyebrow and looked at Lea.

Lea frowned, then leaned down and draped his arms around his companions. “Roxas, Xion - it’s time.”

Xion looked up at him. “Time for what?”

“We’re gonna teach you - “ He paused for dramatic effect and looked to Isa for confirmation “- about brunch.”

**Author's Note:**

> "We know about brunch. Did you think we didn't know about brunch?"
> 
> "You do? Aw."


End file.
